Se on jo liian syvällä. Mun mielessä, sydämessä, sielussa. Ruumiissa, ihon alla. Pitää mua otteessaan, eikä päästä irti. Se sanoo, että se rakastaa mua, siksi se tekee tätä, niin se sanoo.
Ja mä itken ja huudan, koetan päästä pois, mutta se vaan tiukentaa otettaan.
Ja mä nojaan sitä vasten, nyyhkytän ja sanon anna anteeksi, mä olin typerä ja heikko mä en enää luovuta, pysyn vahvana, nauran, hymyilen ja nyökkään kun ne kysyy, onko kaikki hyvin, koska mäkin rakastan sitä, rakastan ihan totta, mutta samalla mua pelottaa, pelottaa niin hirveästi, kun on niin vaikeaa elää sen kanssa koko ajan.
Mutta kun on jo niin syvällä mustassa meressä, kiinni näkymättömillä köysillä, ajettuna nurkkaan omassa ruumiissa ja mielessä tässä julmassa maailmassa, joka on niin täynnä sairasta kauneutta, että olen sokea kaikelle muulle.
Stargazer
A/N: Kuviksen tunnilla syntynyttä. Heh.
sunnuntai 17. helmikuuta 2008
lauantai 9. helmikuuta 2008
Little Thispiration [Original, English]
… I’ll be the beauty I wasn’t born with …
How much it’ll take to get perfection?
Lots of will.
Lots of self control.
Does it worth it?
Yes.
I love my bones, I want to see them sticking on my body.
I want to be pure.
I want to see no fat.
And there is no easy way to do that.
I need to learn love hunger.
I need to learn hate the monster called food.
I think I want to give up.
No one can be perfect, right?
But think again, what you could reach…
Think about it! How strong you would look in eyes of people.
They would envy you, because they can’t do the same!
Keep on, keep starving.
Stay strong, never give up.
Because nothing tastes as good as thin.
Always a little bit thinner,
But still never thin enough…
Stargazer
A/N: I DO NOT support eating disorders! They serious problems, not something to play with! Im just on the mood again.
How much it’ll take to get perfection?
Lots of will.
Lots of self control.
Does it worth it?
Yes.
I love my bones, I want to see them sticking on my body.
I want to be pure.
I want to see no fat.
And there is no easy way to do that.
I need to learn love hunger.
I need to learn hate the monster called food.
I think I want to give up.
No one can be perfect, right?
But think again, what you could reach…
Think about it! How strong you would look in eyes of people.
They would envy you, because they can’t do the same!
Keep on, keep starving.
Stay strong, never give up.
Because nothing tastes as good as thin.
Always a little bit thinner,
But still never thin enough…
Stargazer
A/N: I DO NOT support eating disorders! They serious problems, not something to play with! Im just on the mood again.
Ana [Short Original, English]
She’s always with me. At day, at night, where ever I wander. She’s always by my side, holding my hand. Telling me what to do.
What would I be without you? I’d be totally lost...
She’s making me what I want to be. Pure as water, light as air. Perfect as a snowflake.
But she’s taking a lot from me. Sometimes it’s really hard to live with her, because she’s doing things so much more complicate. She’s making me cry time by time.
But I love her.
She’s my drug, my obsession. I need her, I need her as the air I breathe.
Oh, come back to me! Don’t leave me, I’ll be nothing without you! I’m so hooked on you.
Whispering in my ear, telling the painful truths.
I’ll give all my strength and power to her. I’ll let her take whole control.
Give me my sick satisfaction!
She’s my best friend, my saviour.
She’s my worst enemy, my killer.
In my happiness, and sorrow.
Long life, Ana.
Never leave me alone?
Stargazer
What would I be without you? I’d be totally lost...
She’s making me what I want to be. Pure as water, light as air. Perfect as a snowflake.
But she’s taking a lot from me. Sometimes it’s really hard to live with her, because she’s doing things so much more complicate. She’s making me cry time by time.
But I love her.
She’s my drug, my obsession. I need her, I need her as the air I breathe.
Oh, come back to me! Don’t leave me, I’ll be nothing without you! I’m so hooked on you.
Whispering in my ear, telling the painful truths.
I’ll give all my strength and power to her. I’ll let her take whole control.
Give me my sick satisfaction!
She’s my best friend, my saviour.
She’s my worst enemy, my killer.
In my happiness, and sorrow.
Long life, Ana.
Never leave me alone?
Stargazer
lauantai 2. helmikuuta 2008
Killing [Poem, English]
Killing
Time is out
World is still
For a moment
Everything’s silent
Blood on my hands
And Heaven’s crying again
Stargazer
Time is out
World is still
For a moment
Everything’s silent
Blood on my hands
And Heaven’s crying again
Stargazer
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